Through the Storms and Charting the Unknown
05 Jun, 2023
this is a more personal blog than the previous ones. It has been too long since I have reached out to most of you. In recent months, I have found myself struggling in a difficult and challenging place. I have experienced the pain of losing people very close to me, and I have made the mistake of trusting the wrong individiduals. These experience have caused me to become more cautious and guarded about who I allow into my life, triggering waves of anxiety that I have had to confront.
In order to prioritze my healing and self-care, you may have noticed that I have decided to take a step back from social media platforms such as fediverse. I feel that many aspects about fediverse bring me back into that dark place I strive to leave behind, therefore I have chosen to distance myself from I it. Nonetheless, I remain available on other communication channels such as Discord, Matrix, E-Mail or Threema. Do not hesitate to reach out to me, your friendship and support mean the world to me.
As I navigate this journey, I have decided to revive my blog once again. I believe it's essential to establish a habit of documenting my experiences with social anxiety and other of my reflections, as well as sharing updates on my personal pet projects. This blog will serve as my safe space and sanctuary, where I can openly reflect on everything. I hope that sharing my experience will help others who may be going through similiar challenges, and show them they are not alone. Additionally, I will be introducing private blog posts, accessible only to my closest friends. This will create a more intimate and confidential space where I can share more personal experiences and thoughts. Through this, I aspire to overcome my inhibitions about writing blog posts, recognizing that English is not my first language and that I hold myself to very high standards. In my view, blog posts demand a level of quality that just surpasses that of microblogs on fediverse.
I am, however, glad to report that I am slowly but surely making progress and working towards becoming a better and happier version of myself. I have immersed myself in projects that I am passionate about and I reestablished self-care routines (such as exercise and meditation). I am once again finding joy in traveling, spending time with people I am comfortable with, and rediscovering the beauty in life. Moreover, I am eagerly anticipating upcoming conventions (including GPN) where I will have the pleasure of meeting many of you. :)
Thank you for your unwavering friendship and support. Your presence in my life has been a source of strength, knowing that we have each other's backs and embrace each other's imperfections. Take chances, make mistakes and get messy. And never forget, you are valuable and you matter!
[This blog post was reviewed by a native English speaker.]